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I Know A Man
I know a man with two faces
And the one he wears depends on
Where he is at
And who he is with
And who can or cannot see.
When I met this man with two faces,
All I knew of him
Was what my sister had told me.
That he was a friend
And a professional
A volunteer librarian.
That they attend college together.
And he was a single man
Who lived alone,
Who had dated women.
And when I met this man
And ate with him
And talked with him
And laughed with him
I believed what my sister had said.
Yet I had another friend,
A close friend,
Who also knew the man,
And knew him better than my sister.
The man had helped my friend
When things had not made sense
When what society said
Did not match what his heart said
About who he could or could not love.
My friend said that the man
Was not a single man
And did not want to be alone
And did not favor women.
So when I met the man again,
This time in his home,
And ate with him
And talked with him
And laughed with him,
I saw his true face.
As I got to know the man
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 1 4
It's Amazing...
It's amazing
how everything can change
yet it can all be the same...
How everything can shatter
yet it can still come back together.
How much you can hurt and hate
yet you can let it go so fast.
How silent you can be for so long
yet the conversation can continue in an instant.
How you can feel so backstabbed
yet that person can heal the wound.
How you swear reality will hurt forever
yet it can be fixed.
How nothing can ever be how it was
yet it can be so close to it.
How you can swear you don't give a damn
yet you can go back to caring like you did.
How fast you can run from someone
yet you can return to them just as quickly.
How much someone can hurt your heart
yet they can still make it feel better.
How someone can make you miserable
yet they can later make you smile.
How you could have sworn it was all over
yet it turns out... it wasn't.
Or maybe, just maybe
there is a chance
that it is not so amazing.
That it just takes a little hope
a little faith
a little courage
a little forgive
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Memoirs Chapter 7
Chapter Seven:
Right on Time.
Holmes woke, not daring to move. He didn't want to open his eyes and discover that last night was all a dream. That none of it had happened, that he had never been John's, that he'd never had that chance…
He could not lie there and wish forever, though.  He had to open his eyes at some point, so he braced himself to lose everything that he'd imagined he'd gained.
When he opened his eyes, he saw… John. More accurately, John's bare shoulders.
He didn't realize that his fingernails were long enough to leave such marks…
Or that he'd truly bitten John that hard…
He chuckled to himself as he got up and dressed. He felt… light. There was truly no other word for it. He'd truly believed that last night had all been a dream and was relieved to find that it had not been. True, there was still the issue of John's fiancé, but all would be figured out in due course. For now, he had happiness.
He had John.
He paused for a moment be
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Memoirs, Chapter 5
Chapter Five:
This is Not. Sudden.
"Is he now?" He smiled and his lip twitched.
"Yes…" John read the page again, this time more intently. "You've questioned him already?"
"And??" The question was sharp.
"And I have found him innocent. Possibly the most innocent person of any mentioned within that file."
"Are you sure?"
The question annoyed him… Was he sure? Of course he was sure. He had done this for years and had never once been wrong. He could say with absolute certainty after he questioned a man whether or not he'd had anything to do with a crime committed. John knew that! But now he suddenly doubted Holmes. Why? Because of Mary.
"Of course I am sure. I am always sure."
"Holmes, I need you to be positive, this is my futu-"
"Your future father in law, yes, I know what he will become once you wed Mary."
"Don't take up an attitude, Holmes…"
"I am not." He sniffed. "I'm merely assuring you that, yes, your beloved's father is innocent."
"Does she know about this?"
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Frontpage Curiosity by xxBlueLoverxx Frontpage Curiosity :iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Memoirs of a Secret Love, Ch. 3
Chapter Three: The Taste of Blood and Scotch.
When he woke, John had returned and was dozing in the chair across from him.  It took him a moment to remember what had happened, why he was in his chair... When he did, he realized that John must have put him there.
He ran a hand over his face, sighing. He must have scared John half to death... He'd thought he had his limit figured out, but had underestimated himself... Again. Since he'd passed out, the drugs had done nothing for him, and he'd have to find some other way to keep himself sane.
He looked at John again, and a dozen thoughts flashed across his mind... A dozen things he could have done right then, right there, but every single one was ludicrous. The smallest of gestures, a kiss on the forehead, might go unnoticed... But his most extreme... He laughed at himself, realizing fully how foolish it was to even consider waking John by straddling him...
He stood, crossing the room to his jumbled collection of glasses, bottles
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Like Atlas...
I wish I was like Atlas,
Though I would not shoulder the sky.
I would place upon myself
much heavier burdens than that.
Daily, at some point, I wish
with all that I am
that I could, even for a moment,
shoulder someone else's pain.
I would give most anything
to stand where they are
to take their place
and to give them peace.
When those I care for hurt,
I notice, and want only
to trade places with them
if only for a few moments.
Because I know that in that time
they would have a little peace
to just breathe, or smile,
or even get a good night's sleep.
Spoken, or unspoken,
big or what some would call small
Pain is pain, no matter what,
and I'd give so much to shoulder it.
I'd run up that hill,
I'd carry that load,
I'd give them that peace
If only, if only I could...
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Memoirs of a Secret Love, Ch. 1
Chapter One: A Beautiful Breaking
"I've decided to ask her to marry me."
The statement came from nowhere. It was unprecedented and startling. John was merely sitting, enjoying his tea as he read the paper, while Sherlock himself tended to his violin.
"What?" He looked up, taken aback.
"I'm going to ask Mary for her hand in marriage, Holmes."
He blinked. Swallowed. Registered what John had said and the full impact of these words.
John would marry her, and would therefore live with her. Be away from him for the rest of his life. That would be… difficult.
He jerked back to reality then.
"Congratulations." He said, his nose twitching. "I wish you both the best."
"You're… okay with this?"
"Yes." He gave a curt nod. "I assure you I am."
He was trying his level best to remain collected, and was under the impression that he was doing quite well.
"I couldn't be happier, Watson. When are you planning to, as they say, pop the question?"
"Before the week is out."
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 1
For You by xxBlueLoverxx For You :iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
In Between
In between...
the apart and the kiss
the sobbing and the silence
the "I love" and the "you"
the college and the apartment
the walking and the joining of hands
the smile and the laugh
the day and the night
the winter and the summer
the sleeping and the awake
the "I am" and the "sorry"
the "Once upon a time" and the "happily ever after"
the cut off and the applause
the "I forgive" and the "you"
the rain and the sunshine
there is beauty.
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 2
I Am a Fool
"All you'll ever have is an empty heart. And a chipped cup."
I turn and walk away, not once looking back. I don't want him to see my tears, he doesn't deserve them. He deserves my venom, but never my tears. Never again...
His power means more to him that I ever did or will, and I was a fool not to realize that. He took me from my home with no remorse for that was the price he demanded, I was his property, and I let myself forget that.
I was a fool.
I push open the massive front doors, and still do not look back. I doubt he's even moved from where I left him, and I doubt care if he ever does.
I believed that I'd be able to change him. That I was brave. That I meant something to him. That we had true love.
I was a fool!
I walk faster now, head down, cheeks wet. I hate myself for crying over someone who doesn't deserve it... I hate how much he hurt me.
I think what I hate most is that it was true love... I can try to tell myself all I want that he did not love me in return, that I never m
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 3 3
Words make and the break
and they give and they take
and they build and they destroy
and they being pain and bring joy.
They have power to say
Everything in every way
What we mean and what we don't
What we'll do and what we won't.
They cut more than any knife
But can bring meaning to a life
They cannot be taken back
Or make up for what we lack.
They are not easily forgotten
and can turn to something rotten
But can also be the everything
to a person who has nothing.
They spell out love and hate
Something bad or something great
Said or unsaid, they're all the same:
the bringers of glory and bringers of shame.
Stay in your mind and in your heart,
throughout history, throughout art
they bind all peoples everywhere
Words are something that we share.
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 1 4
All the Same
He hates cleaning.
His property is extensive, and there are a lot of things to take care of.
He has so many trinkets. So many things that collect dust so rapidly.
He has a lot of memories here as well.
The puppets that came out of one of his first deals. A lamp that once held a foolish genie. Swords. Grails. It's all so damn much to move and deal with...
He dusts only what must be kept clean, and doesn't do so often. Now he is, and is disgusted with the state of things. But he will not employ anyone to help him.
Never again.
Not after... Her.
He glances over his shoulder at the mirror he has covered to make sure once again that none of the glass is showing. The queen cannot ever be allowed to see him again. She can know nothing of him or his dealings. Never again!
He sneers, and continues to dust.
Plots and conversations swirl in his mind, and the distain for the queen is ever at the back of his mind. As it so often does, it starts to consume him.
Who is she to think she can control hi
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 1 0
The You That You Once Were
I loved you.
Months ago.
I can finally say that I no longer love you. I do not hate you, but I certainly do not love you. I don't bid you any ill, but I will not go out of my way to wish you the best. You are simply another person to me, and I will treat you as such if the occasion ever arises.
This is more than you have done for me, or so it seems.
You have persecuted me. For reasons I do not understand, you have come after me as though it was I who hurt you. I did not mean to, if that is the case. You walked away from me, and I let you. I did not damage your property, or your reputation, or any of your friendships. I left you alone, really. Yes, I was curious as to your goings on. But did I insult you, hurt you, or otherwise act malicious?
The answer to that is a resounding no, and you know it as well as I do.
I do still have some resentments, I cannot lie. I resent that you hurt me; I resent the things that you said to me. The things you said and the things you did hurt me. Br
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 12
Kelsey: chapter Four
The nurse sat her down on a table and told her to stay still, to wait there for the doctor. She was almost sickly sweet, and that bothered Kelsey. She didn't want anyone being sweet or caring towards here, not when she was just going to figure out the quickest way to die. It was better if they just left her alone.
As she waited, she looked at herself. At her arms and her legs. There were bruises and scratches she hadn't noticed before due to the dirt and blood, and she had a burn on her leg. She still couldn't feel them, really. It felt like she was looking at them on someone else's body...
The doctor came in and began his poking and prodding. She sat, moving only when he asked her to, nodding or shaking her head whenever he asked questions. She didn't speak a word and looked at him -as well as everything else- with that same blank, dead, stare.
"Well," He said, stepping back from her. "You're fine, except for a few bumps and bruises. Nothing you won't recover from. Though... We'll nee
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 0
Kelsey: Chapter Three
Bright lights. People bustling. Noise. Lots of noise that echoed in the halls.
Kelsey balked when the doors to the Federation HQ opened.
After so much nothing for so long… It felt odd that there was suddenly so much to see and hear and feel.
Kelsey wanted to go back to the ship and sleep. This was too loud…
"Come on." Samus said, and began to walk without checking that Kelsey was following. Still, Kelsey followed.  She didn't have much choice.
There were people everywhere, and their voiced annoyed Kelsey. So did their stares. She noticed that people stared openly as she and Samus passed by them, some of them with mouths agape. She wondered why they stared... Did they truly not see newcomers that often? Or was it because she was following the famous warrior?
Then she remembered that she was covered in blood. That her clothes were torn and burned. That her hair was matted. She glanced at her arms and was shocked to see that she could barely see her own skin beneath th
:iconxxblueloverxx:xxBlueLoverxx 0 2

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  • Listening to: Myself singing "Take Me or Leave Me"
  • Reading: dance with dragons
  • Watching: nothin
  • Playing: Twilight Princess (Killed the cave of ordeals)
  • Eating: nothin
  • Drinking: nada
Job I had but was becoming less and less fond of? Out of it, with my library work study all lined up for school!

Boyfriend stressing about not having a job yet? 40 hours a week for him, boo ya!

Dog that was gonna just get sent of and put down even though she was sweet and needs training? Living safe and sound with my boyfriend :)

Days where all I wanna do is sleep? Haven't seen one for a week!

Feeling too busy to spend time with friends I love? Finally have time to chill with them.

It's been a good week, and on that note I would like to wish you all a happy Esther Day, a holiday honored by John Green every August 3rd. Today, a young nerdfighter friend of his named Esther Earl would have been 18 had she not succumbed to thyroid cancer... John met her as part of her Wish, and he told her that her birthday would be honored by a video on the topic of her choosing. Her topic? Love.

Esther Day is the Valentine's Day for all the other kinds of love. Not just romantic or for your parents, no. Not for the people you say it to every day. This is for the people you love but for some reason never say it. Siblings, friends, even co-workers. Today is the day to tell someone that you love them and that they brighten your life. Tell them flat out with those three simple words and maybe a few reasons why.

That said, even though this seems weird:

:iconphantomwolf: I love you! You've been a faithful and supportive watcher, you've given great advice, and you've showed me OH SO MANY epic fandoms to be a part of and love. Thanks for being made of awesome!!!

I'm gonna work hard to put my past behind me, to keep my fears in check, and to laugh.

People say I'm loud and annoying, that my laugh is immature and obnoxious.

I don't care. There was a point in my life I didn't smile, much less laugh. I'm never going back to it. Never. Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And, if you give a damn, take me.

Or leave me.


xxBlueLoverxx's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
Nature: Show me your best, and I'll take it with me to share with the world.

Current Residence: Depends on who you ask.
Favourite genre of music: Classic Rock
Skin of choice: The one I'm in
Personal Quote: You've got to go after the things you want while you're still in your prime.


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Ganet Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014
Oh would ya look at that! Happy Birthday~!
Ganet Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013
Happy Birthday~!
cookiiesss Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you for that llama!! XD it was very unexpected and very welcomed and happy to have it :hug:
xxBlueLoverxx Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Ivan-Lionheart Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! :3
firedancer123 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I figured I would let you know about this since you write fanfiction....

Poetrymann Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012  Professional Writer
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